How to Support Your Loved One Living in Care

Moving your loved one into care can raise a myriad of conflicting emotions. You may expect that after moving day, everything will feel settled. You can have peace of mind that your loved one is receiving the 24-hour assistance and care that they need.

But this may bring with it more strange emotions. Trusting someone else with the care and well-being of your loved one is an extremely difficult thing to do, and may bring a lot of guilt. Understanding how to navigate this new landscape, both in how you support your loved one and how you care for your own emotional well-being, is essential for a smooth transition.

Sustainable Visiting

Creating a consistent and sustainable visiting schedule may be the most obvious way to support your loved one, but it is also the most important. Doing so from the beginning of their new life in the care home will make the transition much easier to deal with.

However, a consistent visiting schedule is not just for the first month after the move. To support them through these months, and maybe even years, of living in care, you must ensure that you have a regular visiting schedule.

This does not mean that you have to visit them every day. Over-visiting in the first month and then decreasing the time together will make this transition much harder for your loved one. It may also disrupt their ability to settle into their new independent life and bond with others in the community.

A predictable routine is vital in a care setting. For older adults, and particularly those navigating cognitive decline or dementia, a reliable schedule provides a profound sense of normalcy, safety, and security.

But simply visiting and chatting will not provide all the support that they require. Try bringing games, nostalgic activities, and old photographs to engage them and yourself. Doing so will also help to fight against memory loss and keep their brain healthy.

Ongoing Support

For many family members who acted as a part-time carer, the final weeks before choosing a care home would have been physically and emotionally taxing. However, your loved one’s new life allows you to rest knowing that they are receiving the professional, constant care that they need. You can now return to being a loving family member, not a burnt-out carer. You will now have the time and energy to plan day trips and fun activities instead of focusing solely on supporting their health.

Now that your loved one is settled into care, don’t just assume that their needs haven’t changed. Always ask them privately about how they are feeling. This can be about the medical, emotional, and social support that they are receiving. Establishing a connection that allows them to communicate any issues to you is extremely important. This will allow you to raise any issues in their care or their developing need for more support to the care assistants, and ensure that your loved one is happy and healthy.

Supporting Yourself

Whilst the support and well-being of your loved one is a priority, you must remember that this is a difficult time for you and your extended family as well.

You may initially feel some guilt or sadness that you are no longer caring for them yourself. However, remind yourself that you are not stepping away from them. You are making yourself emotionally available to them again. When dealing with difficult health conditions, life can become overwhelming. Having family members around who can provide love and normalcy is exactly what your loved one needs.

For families supporting a loved one with progressive conditions like dementia, the move can trigger a unique form of grief known as ambiguous loss. You may grieve the relationship and routine that you had before your loved one moved into care. But you must remember that your loved one is still there and still needs your support. This is the time for you to redefine your role from carer to family member.

Contact Us

Family members are not just visitors in our care homes. We have seen firsthand the importance of family presence in our homes and welcome them into our extended community.

Our care assistants are always available to provide support for family members alongside the amazing work that they do for our residents. Transitioning into a new, sustainable routine will take time and effort. If you are struggling with the emotional load of this time or would like some advice on how to make your visits more meaningful, our team is here to help.